Sex then and now

French philosopher Marquis de Sade had the right idea in mind when he said “sex is as natural a need as eating or drinking and so we should engage in it with little false modesty or restraint.” Marquis was a man ahead of his time and he was speaking to people who either due to religious or cultural pressure viewed sex as a sin or something to be ashamed of and women were viewed as objects to fulfill men`s desires but not have desires of their own. Today however things have changed because people are not afraid to express their sexual desires, women are sexually liberated and people are having a lot of sex as evidenced by the fact that there are seven billion people on the planet.

Couples today have become very sexually adventurous to embrace the use of sex toys to spice things up in the bedroom and this is having a largely positive effects on relationships because a study done by the Kinsley institute conclusively showed that kinky couples tend to have better satisfying sexual experiences and more orgasms, so no wonder so many people guys are trying to learn how to make a woman squirt or some other “tricks” to improve their sex life. Some married couples are keeping things fresh by changing the scenery from the ordinary bedroom to having sex in the shower or on the living room couch while other couples are taking it even further by embracing their dark side in the form of BDSM which stands for bondage discipline submission and masochism.

The frequency with which couples have sex varies widely because couples that are still dating as well as newlyweds tend to have sex as much as they possibly can sometimes even three times a day but the longer a couple has been together, then the lower the frequency. In the US the average frequency of sex for married couples is 2 to 3 times in a week but couples who have been married for 20 years or more tend to have sex a few times a year usually on special occasions like anniversaries and valentines day.

Partners who communicate their desires to each other have more fulfilling sex because it allows for couples to fulfill their fantasies and desires without fear or shame. Some people want to be dominated in bed while some want to be submissive, other partners like to try new sexual positions they have seen in a movie or the Kama sutra.

Today the average age at which Americans loose their virginity is 17yrs and less than 15% of Americans retain their virginity by age 24, most courting couples report engaging in sexual activity by their fourth date and 97% report loosing their virginity before marriage. All these statistics show that people in relationships are having sex as soon as possible but this trend may be having a negative effect on the longevity of relationships according to a study by the Brigham Young University who published their findings in the Journal of family psychology. According to the study there is a direct correlation between how long a couple chooses to delay sex and how long a relationship will last as couples who delay sex tend to have long relationships when compared to those who engage in sex quickly. The reason suggested for this pattern is that couples who abstain from sex early on get to develop love, communication as well as trust and when they do finally engage in sex it is an act of greater intimacy and meaning that further deepens their love.